thus making me awesome and them whores
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
