Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
