Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
