I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Is it penis luge time yet?
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
