you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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