If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
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