How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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