Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
