R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
