Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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