I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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