Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
