my sisters under your porch take her home
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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