We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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