hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
