Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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