I'm laying in your front yard are you home
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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