He asked to "fluff my boner.."
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
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