i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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can u get pink eye on your cock?
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
