So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
