I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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