sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
