she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
