everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
