I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
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