Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize
