dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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