pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
