I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
