i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Everyone says I win the strip club
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
