More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Randomize
