it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Randomize
