a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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