that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
