I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Randomize
