mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Houston, we have a squirter
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
