But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
