I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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