I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
