She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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