airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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