Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
