1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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