I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
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