I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
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