whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
