I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
