yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
