just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
