Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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