I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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